Why do I still cry?

I am not pure at heart, no more
But I still want to be innocent, no less
I still feel the guilt of a child
When I cry over things, I can't find

I want to overcome
However long it takes
I don’t want no for an answer
I am ready to raise the stakes

Pardon me, my friend
For I’ve been rude
And pardon me for I will be as well
I am playing no games, neither being shrewd

I am old enough, they say
And it’s awkward when I cry
Let them say what they want to
But I’ll wail, till I hear it from you

The flowers blossom, the trees fruit
Such is the spring, this time around
If only the past hadn’t been that brute
If only the acoustics were sound

I miss the ambience that fostered me
Cause I feel worlds apart now
To its faintest resemblance, I bow
Enough said, that’s why I still cry

Paint me the Autumn Colors

Paint me the autumn colors
I'm so in awe of them
paint me, the golden streets
bathed in the rainbow's blend

Paint me flowers my friend
on the turf, and on them trees
breaking free from their strands
and posing with the shredded leaves

I'm willful when I ask you to paint
and you'd be rude to deny me
I don't want my memories to faint
paint it please, so I can look back at it with glee

No wonder, it’s such a merry sight
it may be a sight of sorrow to many
But I can feel the autumn's delight
in shredding with its leaves, its tyranny

paint me the colorful bliss
oh friend please do not refuse
paint me the morning mist
please paint me the autumn views
the season where all elements fuse

Faking a poster smile

Stifled by the cobweb of struggle
Tussling and fiddling their way through
Why then they gag and giggle
Faking a poster smile

They can’t recall when they last lived freely
This plastic smile is telegraphed really
A reassurance that they can still wear a smirk
Albeit with a nerve wrecking jerk

The wrath of being frustrated by life
Is hidden under the cloak of their veneer
Fighting for survival, as through the waters, they steer
Still faking a poster smile

By them, I mean everybody
Is faking to suit his ambience
To disguise the life that’s been shoddy
So full of regret and penance

If I had enough of an eye
To gaze past the eyes of their mind
I would urge them to try
And not just fake a poster smile

Moving along the lines of dismal truth

I just thought of this and that
Until I screwed things bad
So bad, I couldn’t help them get worse
So under this occult curse

Always a step ahead of others,
But a step behind myself
My vision of myself was in clutters
Their anarchical disposition didn’t help

Flipping the coins, spinning the wheels
I got a lot that I didn’t at all deserve
I did part with them empty streets
But not the emptiness of my verve

I am moving along the lines of dismal truth
Caring no more about the things I used to care for
It’s as it comes, albeit sweet or brute
And I will stand my ground put, as long as I can dare for

Things I can't help regret

Weird thoughts are something I can’t help
The imperialist glimpses of glory flash
Before the eyes of my expectant mind
And of how I was plunged into the waters
And left to die, where the dearest couldn’t find

Killed as I was
My death had no meaning
Like an odd weed in the floss
No one ever regarded my feelings
Oh! My soul is still so cross

I am but a shadow of what I used to be
But to avenge, I need my life back
Like a phoenix, reincarnate me
And let me re-begin from scratch
If not my dreams, may be it’s my life that I can fetch

The reapers do come and go
But, I stay my ground put
They admire those pastures, those rivers that flow
Which I could only see, if I got out of the rut
Oh! How I rue being such a lame duck

I found a kinda something

I found a kinda something
That something wasn’t good
I’ve come a bit too far
Then I probably should

That something was my lonely self
Aloof, anarchical and unconfident
And the emptiness in my life
That’s rendered me incompetent

I hear strange voices
Shouting and screaming aloud
Asking me why didn’t I make it?
Even though I won the bout


Why can’t I find a solace?
By watching people lose
They at-least know their skills
And put them to use

Why do I envy them fliers?
When I can’t even fly
When I don’t know what to do
What the hell should I try?

I am an enigma to myself
Leave alone the others
May be this is the final ride
May be they’ll drop those shutters

Though, I can’t live no more
But, I am too scared to die
Can’t I change the writing on the wall?
Or can’t I at-least try?